Surviving

Ok, so maybe school is not such a bad thing for my big boy. I still miss him, though. It drives me nuts to not have him home all the time. He is loving it, and so far he is doing well. He will have his first spelling test tomorrow, but I'm not sure he will do well on it. He can read the words, but he can't spell them without looking. We're going to try to study one more time in morning before school.

My husband and I are switching surgeons and hospitals for the toddler. There were many reason behind our decision to change, and we actually managed to come to that decisions without a fight between us (this was a huge accomplishment!). We will not be meeting the new surgeon until the end of Sept. This will probably also mean a change of orthodontist and pedontist as well.

I met with the speech therapist who works with out local school district. I had thought that she was going to do a speech evaluation on the two year old, but she was just gathering information on him. A week before his third birthday, she will evaluate his speech. If she feels he has the need for it, she will begin giving him speech therapy twice a week after he turns three.

I've decided that I'm not taking college courses this fall, and the cool thing about it is that I am feeling guilt free! I'm free of guilt for this because God loves me anyway (right, Grace?). I failed to submit my Pell Grant application in time to receive it for this semester. This ended up being the main deciding factor. I have confessed my sin of procrastination and am attempting to change that bad habit. I look forward to returning to college in January (and if I don't you all have my permission to knock me upside the head with a two-by-four!).

Today I placed an application with CASA to become a volunteer with their organization. I'm supposed to talk with the trainer tomorrow. If I am accepted as a court appointed advocate for children in foster care, I will begin training on this Saturday. I'm hoping that this endeavor will give me something constructive to do, combat my boredom, and increase my knowledge, wisdom, and facilitate a growth in faith for me.

I also hope that volunteering will help me to develop a life outside of my marriage. I've got to find a way to make my life happy regardless of how little my hubby wants to share his life with me. I can't make him want to spend time with me. I can't make him care more about improving our marriage then playing his games.

I have a referral for a councilor. I need to make a call to her soon. I have had her number for about a week. I've spoken with others and they do not have openings. I've been becoming more comfortable with our pastor and his wife; I may try to talk with them first. I have thought about this all so much, several times, changing my mind each time...Eventually I will take a leap and begin speaking to someone.